Maybe This Time
by Silenceaftersilence
Summary: Rachel & Eddie, shameless fluff. So shoot me :p


[i] Ladies and gentlefolk, this is a bit odd. And by a bit, I obviously mean it entertains the possibility of three different timelines working in parallel. Like, duh, of course it does ;) so please bear with it, I hope it makes sense, epic thanks to livvyloola for reading it through and telling me it wasn't terrible and as always, concrit simply adored xxx[/i]

[b][u]Maybe This Time[/u][/b]

It's a funny thing, time.

Once upon a time, Rachel made a choice.

Once upon another time, she didn't.

And once upon a third, she never reached the choice at all.

It's a funny thing, time.

[i]I'll tell you something now- let's call it a favour. The smallest decisions can change a lifetime; crossing the road a second too late can alter the course of the rest of your life.

But if something is meant to happen, it'll find a way.

And believe you me, there's nothing you'll be able to do to stop it.[/i]

She couldn't believe her eyes.

Melissa stood in front of her, hand proudly stroking her bump and face contorted into a parody of something that looked like it might have been smug. She couldn't have told you if it was jealousy or the overwhelming sense of disaster that hit her first but she most certainly knew, that this was going to spell death for her fledgling relationship.

Just then, in that moment of time as she digested the consequences she'd swallowed, she mourned the loss of their first argument. She had wanted for them to be able to jump the hurdle of their first row, she had hoped she could scream blue murder at him and have her blood thunder in fury around her temples and still, still curl up under his arm and smell calm in the crook of his neck. She wanted the satisfaction of knowing she was worth making up with. Hell, she wanted the fun of making up as well.

And all in the stroke of a bump, she saw it disappear.

She knew what would happen then, and happen it did. She knew that Eddie would be sent sulking, with neither girlfriend nor ex rushing to wipe away his hesitant tears. She knew he'd end up hating himself relentlessly for not being happy about the impending birth of his child, and she knew that there was nothing she could do about it. Most of all though, she knew he wouldn't have the strength to fight her. She knew he'd go home, and respect her wishes. She knew it would kill him, and he'd do it anyway, for her.

And she knew it shouldn't have been that way.

Rachel had run away from it all. Melissa, Eddie, the school Ralph, the whole 9 yards. And then some. She had exhaled the last iota of fight she had stored away from a time since past and just walked out. More than that, she'd walked away. She wasn't a demanding woman, she didn't need anything much in her life to set her to sleep with a smile on her face. She had dared to think that Eddie could paint her smile on permanently, and sign it neatly marking his penmanship. She knew it wasn't likely anymore, and felt the sketching of it fade beneath her tears.

Of all the things he loved about her, she was willing to bet cowardly wasn't on the list. She was equally willing to bet that having done a bunk would have put paid to any chance their relationship might hold in the future. She knew this, she knew it all when she turned her back; and still she walked.

Rachel had had enough. She'd fought long enough, hard enough, dirty enough and lost enough. She raised a glass of wine to fate, who had really trumped herself this time. Drugs, prostitution, scars and ego, she had battled against many enemies in her time but her sister? She had to hand it to whoever was orchestrating things, but that really was a blinding streak of genius.

Because it all came down to choices.

And she had made the most of sticky choices all her life. She got up and cleaned herself down every time, washing under her fingernails carefully and trying not to get caught up again. But this was a choice she stood to loose more from if she made.

Rachel ran.

She knew as she floored her accelerator and disappeared around the corner of Waterloo Road that she was driving away any respect he might have had for her. She knew it was the only way she could live with herself.

And she knew it shouldn't have been that way.

He'd listened to her.

From that first moment in the pub, he'd listened to her.

She'd told him to go away, and he'd listened to her.

She'd told him he could date her sister, and he'd listened to her.

She gave them her best wishes, and he listened to her.

She congratulated them, and he listened to her.

She dribbled platitudes and all she wanted was for him to ignore them.

All she wanted was for him to fight back.

And she knew it shouldn't have been that way.

[i]I'll tell you something about Eddie.

From early childhood onwards, he'd been a last minute kind of kid. He'd done his homework on the bus in the morning, he'd asked his date a few hours before his sixteenth birthday party and he'd bought his tux the day before his wedding. Things only came together in Eddie's mind when what he stood to lose came into view, and until then, he tended to fumble along, hands slung in his pockets desperately looking for an answer he might have left written on a crumpled piece of paper.

But in the end, in the last second, he would always get there.

It was just meant to be that way.[/i]

A ring on the doorbell.

A ring on the doorbell.

A ring on the doorbell.

She's in pyjamas, curled up into herself and enjoying a large glass of wine and self pity. The wine is good, the pity leaves a harsh tang lingering at the back of her throat.

She chokes on it as she opens the door, and sees him there, waiting. Just waiting.

He has come to kiss away the tang.

It doesn't matter if she ran, or stayed, or just left him be. It doesn't matter what she did or what he didn't.

Sometimes, some things just are.

And so they were.

And so it was.


End file.
